Orange You Glad

“Paint It Black” paint you black; isn’t that what I’m offering or maybe it’s more that I’m offering you the darkness in order for you to shine brighter. I offer you all the time I have left and when I die if you truly are the one I love, with what words I have to give I offer you immortality but you want the now.



My heart has been shattered and with it the light, no wonder I look to beautiful girls full of light, color, and beauty to replace the nothingness I see inside myself. The thing is I don’t need much light just enough to beat out the most terrible darkness that is inside me, enough for me to see. So is that it, I’m offering to let you save me and in truth I don’t want to be saved, if anything I just want someone to burn with me, a fallen angel, hellfire.



All I have plenty of is time, at least for love, at least for you but what is it that I want to do with that time; I wonder have you read my other entries. I gave Chrissy a year and a half of my life but of course she brought me back from the dead; how I would love to leave this world, no a girl like you with the truth that you are beautiful, that you are loved, and that no matter what happens to me that such a love will never die. You might be “Just Another Girl” though and what do I have right now other than my darkness, my words, and time.



I can promise that I won’t get “Tired of You” if you truly are my love and that “I’ll Be” the greatest fan of your life. In the end though what do I truly know about love, I’m not ripe yet so honestly you’re like all the others, Orange You Glad.



~Orange You Glad~



Ripe

Season of love

Do you like?

Am I enough?



Fallen, picked, or plucked

From so many to be

If I have such luck

I guess we shall see

To only… or be in love

You and me



As I’m stripped and peeled

The inside of me

My fate is sealed

Is this happening?

To know, to feel

With you to be



The taste, the rush

A sweet confection

Becoming us

Natural selection

Love and lust

Lips an intersection



My beautiful girl

A flood

Not one word

The flavor, the touch

My world

This love



But this season

This time

Doesn’t look a thing like Jesus

So you won’t be mine

I’ll have no reason

And you’ll say goodbye



Ripe

Far better to be rotten

Won’t love me right?

My love for you stoppin’



Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

More In The Closet...

No I’m not gay but I would probably be considered more depraved, more perverted, and more sinful considering all my ideas of sex. Everyone wants me to keep it in the closet… okay that’s fine but the problem is unlike the gays I’m all alone, hell I never even played that game Seven Minutes In Heaven.



Someone told me in a roundabout sort of way that these depraved thoughts will lead to depraved actions but while I have never hurt anyone and I’m probably as innocent as they come, a thought of wanting some girl pretty much equates to being a rapist; at least in this country. I’m willing admit I’m a pervert; Pervert, To turn from truth or proper purpose; to corrupt, to misinterpret; to misapply, call it the absence of love in my life. As for sinful… with or without the church I was always that and for the longest time I have been a masochist but now that I’m a sadist, I’m wrong.



So what about the closet… it’s just what I have been thinking about recently that I never had the normal teenage experiences and perhaps that explains my warped sensibilities when it comes to sex. Maybe that’s why I love the whole jailbait look you know; it could be worse, I could be into little boys but no I love the teenage girls, anyway this is another story. Seven Minutes In Heaven; I’ve never known what this is like but to be alone with a girl for seven minutes how does the song go, the only thing that looks good on me is you.



Yeah when I finally leave the closet I’ll be styling, profiling, and shining but who I am now will change and if anything I would think that would be a good thing. Seven minutes when I believe my world will fall apart in only five; close the door there’s More In The Closet.



~More In The Closet... ~



In the dark, the shades and the hues

Only you I see

Not the pinks and the blues

But you and me

Call us doomed

As long as we can be

In the dark, is that cotton?



The touch the feel

Isn’t rotten

Pleasure is too real

And who wants to stop it

A righteous kiss to seal



In the dark, how much did we spend?

Is there really nothing?

Or only sin

There’s something

Seven minutes again

More for loving



In the dark, until another day

But let it be night

Don’t feel like dressing anyway

Out there it’s so bright

Let’s just stay

This love is so right



In the dark, we don’t see the mess

Let us be blind

Maybe assess

That love is kind

You don’t need your dress

Girl you’re so fine



Amazing, just the way you are

In the light

But in the dark

Our artificial night

Love won’t be marred

We will be so bright

A work of art

Keep it in the closet… all right



Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Nowhere To Love

Saturday, July 30, 2011

“What I Go To School For”, the Internet, the library, the woods, the lake, the pool; so many places and regardless of what I was supposed to be doing for as long as I can remember I have been looking for love. See me now and everyone would say I’m shy; how much humiliation can one guy take, how long before I finally get the message, or is it I’m alone and I was just not meant to be around people.

It seems to me this whole damn world was not a place built for love or maybe it was only not built for me, real shocker right. Then again it seems that love is everywhere but that isn’t real love, I’m starting to think I never knew what it was to begin with. Why is it that I love the woods so… how I wish I could just be alone with some girl under those trees, forget the whole wide world; if anything some people are unworthy of such a “gift” as love, maybe I’m one of them.

Am I shy here... of course not? One day this entire place will be destroyed. I’m learning more and more with each passing day that no one will ever know I existed. Why don’t I make noise in the world I walk in; again look at this place, do you think for an instant anyone would understand and then you ask me why I’m shy? I’m shy because there is nowhere for me, nothing for me, and no one for me but what if there was, some girl, maybe Chrissy or Susan, maybe even you.

“A Heart Is A House For Love” if only someone would let me in but instead I wander in the wilderness and all alone I don’t need to be shy, I’m free. I yearn for a place though, not just the forest and the trees, not lakeside but a world where I am not shy, not ashamed, and neither is she to love me because for now there is, Nowhere to Love.

~Nowhere To Love~

Nowhere, for
There are doors

To be knocked
And locked
Slammed
Because they can
Doorbells
Rejection can be Hell

Nowhere, you know
There are windows

The glass
Blinds close fast
Tapped
And trapped
My words
Won’t be heard

Nowhere, you saw
There are walls

Behind today
What I want to say
A fool
That can’t be cool
So I burn
And yearn

Nowhere, too far
There is a yard

And I must get off
Maybe get lost
Flowers in bloom
But none as pretty as you
Inside
We both hide

Nowhere, to try
There are eyes

Theirs
I cannot bear
Yours
Behind those doors
And mine know
No home so…

Outside
Wild, free, alive
Or homeless
But know this
I try
Though I’m terribly shy

To find a place to go
Somewhere only we know
I can have what I’m dreaming of
You, because here there is Nowhere to Love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Home... Please

Seems there never is the right song but “The Light Song” will just have to do; if a girl wants me, to acknowledge me in the light, in front of others, and most of all to make me feel as though I belong… this would be nice. Hell I’ve never been much for humanity perhaps this is why I dream of being a beast, an animal, or maybe I am being human… just a freaky deaky one.

I’ve never been able to buy a woman… never had the money but I have always imagined waking up in the light with some girl next to me and to know that she still wants me, whoever it is I am. People talk about public displays of affection and yeah I want that, I think I said before I want to make a sex tape someday, hell I want a girl that gets jealous and is willing to fight for me; jealously levels to be determined. If anything I just want to sit by a girl at the pool, play footsy in the lake, and to lie on her lap in the middle of nowhere and be at peace with the world.

It’s nothing like the feeling of the sun, the wind, and the water against your bare skin and yeah it’s hot but you see the skimpy things girls wear nowadays. I also heard in a movie once that it’s never too hot or never too cold for lovin’ and that’s what I want to do. A girl wants to fulfill my fantasy, there’s this rock in the woods I know, if anything just to make love with some girl on that rock, maybe in the car, or in a dressing room someplace, like I said to fuck like some “Animal”.

“A Heart Is A House For Love” at the end of the day this is what I am looking for; I want a house someday but for now I’ll settle for a home, some girl, some heart… why couldn’t it have been Chrissy? Monsters have homes, animals have homes, what about Chelsea Kane from The Homes, Rose asked Jack to take her to the stars; I want love, I want you, to take me home… please.

~The Home... Please~

The place
Home
But create
What I’ve never known

Somewhere
I’ve never gone
Don’t be scared
It’s where we both belong

The time
To find home
Where I’ll find
I’m not alone

What minute, hour, someday
Will I lay?
Your heart you gave
And love is made

The purpose
A heart is home
God’s service
Love is sown

Not roofs and walls
Blankets and sheets
I want it all
Just you and me

The blood
Wasn’t my home
I wasn’t enough
From it thrown

But my own family
Maybe
Could be
Lie with me

The love
Makes a house a home
You and I one
If this were known

Somewhere, anywhere
Our heats unite
Do you dare?
With me to lie

For what is home
But a place to be
This man fully grown
A girl with me
Where I am known
Finally
Home… Please

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Fine Dime

It is by no means fair for me to say that all women are whores but the question is what do women want because what I have to offer they definitely don’t want. Here’s another question… who came up with calling women “dimes” personally I think some women are worth so much more and yet how many times have I been disappointed?

I don’t know where this comes from, The Abomination doesn’t respect my mother, I’m way pass the art of chivalry, and you might say I was influenced by the media but I came up with the idea that women were supposed to be respected and taken care of. I’m not trying to sound like some sort of caveman here but that’s what a man does and the thing is I don’t have any money but for the right girl I would do anything; I thought girls liked poetry, flowers, and candy but at the end of the day it always comes down to my face. Women don’t want anything from me with my face but I write a poem and give it to some other guy and a girl’s panties drop quick.

I have a problem, when it comes to any girl “She’s So High” above me and the thing is I lift them even higher and I guess no girl can reach such expectations and then I get upset when I can’t reach them; hell they fall and I still can’t. Personally I have come to the conclusion that money and money alone is the only way to somehow reach that pedestal I have placed all girls on because my words, me being sweet, and of course the nice guy routine never works… but really I am a nice guy or at least I try to be. What about Chrissy… I thought she was different but in the end all she saw was the monster but if a monster has enough money he can get away with anything.

You don’t need love to have money but you need money to have love; maybe I was born in the wrong age because in this one I have nothing to offer. I say I find some girls disappointing but it’s me poor, lonely, and all alone. If only I was worth a Fine Dime.

~Fine Dime~

Fine dime
One of a kind
More like a dollar
That’s why I holler

Try and work
Be a jerk
All for her

Fine dime
And I whine
Because I’m no “quarter” back
Never had it like that

Before bottled water
With a quarter
Just to court her

Fine dime
To be mine
Would’ve been fine
If only for a time

But to drive… please
Hell to fly, a dream
She’s so high above me

Fine dime
I try to deny
The nickel in my pocket
But I can’t drop it

Her love I need
If it were free
Beg and plead

Fine dime
Financial bind
Give my heart and a penny
I’m still empty

Her heart a house
And I’m kicked out
Always without

Dollars and cents
Love makes no sense
And she’s so fine
But she’s not mine
One Fine Dime

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Spill

All the things I wish to do in this life I do in bed; yeah it’s called dreaming but the mess which is my life I already have all around me. So why would I want to dirty such a place that isn’t a mess… because I want it messy but more importantly I want someone to help me make a mess; so let me spill it.

I once cried at night… before The Abomination stole my tears, I was never sad in bed though, it was just so damn beautiful, the world and the girl of my dreams. What about growing up, yeah I had plenty of “wet dreams” and considering how often I masturbate… yeah I think we’ll move on. Last but not least is the sunlight that drowns my world; there is no one here to save me… do I need to be saved; maybe I just want someone to sink to the bottom with.

Love is sacrifice, always remember that; my bed is the altar upon which I wish to be sacrificed, amongst other places but let’s stick with the bedroom for now. I wouldn’t mind the mess as long as I’m not the only one having to clean it up; I know I’m dirty maybe that’s why I want someone so clean, to remind me of what I once was, to take that away from someone else, and to finally be guilty and willing. I want someone who can thrive in the mess just like I do, to lie with me and be lost to a dream which is now reality.

My love, my lust, and my sick appetites are starting to overflow and I know how to stop it but I just can’t do it alone. So I lie here in the muck and the mire of love’s fire, just waiting for some beautiful girl to clean up the spill.

~Spill~

Spill
Better than any sleeping pill
Yes there’s water
And yet I quarter
For I am drowned
Bound
As you are too
In love us two

Spill
I steal
The heart, the honor, and the drops
But should I stop
To continue, to proceed, to want and need
You and me to be
A dream, a creation, the two of us
Making love

Spill
The skill
Of bodies entwined
Curves and lines
Perspire, inspire, lifting us higher
Heaven or Hell this fire
To treasure
Such pleasure

Spill
Until
All is spent
But not rent
You always
Night and day
Colors dry
Beneath the light

Spill
Here
Over you and me
And so we sleep
The light
You my beautiful sight
Love overflows until
Upon the bed we Spill

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

At The Seams

“Underneath Your Clothes” more like underneath my clothes but honestly who wants to see that right but what is underneath me if that is even a question.

It’s unwise to talk about the girl I was formerly in love with, hell that I’m still in love with I believe but what I showed Chrissy was my sweet side. Was this an act, some sort of deception, and not the real me… no, I have always been a romantic it’s just I suppose I turned it on all the more in my attempts to win her. I am not one to lie about love and the first time I saw her or any girl I believe I can love, this wonderful guy I thought I was tried fighting to the surface.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m not scared, honestly how many dates have I been on, how many girls have said yes, and how many girls have I ever hooked-up with… I don’t even need one hand. Yes I’m shy, nervous, and for all my knowledge of courtly love would I even know the first thing about courting a girl, a woman?

Now let’s get to what probably brought you here… I’m scary right, hell I would like to think I’m a “sick, masochist lion” as Edward would put it but what did Danielle, Susan, and Chrissy think I was? I want to be scary, dark, and downright evil and then again I don’t want to be a monster but if anything I just know I’m damned. If Chrissy came running to me now willing to give me all that she was in exchange for giving up, let’s say this place would I be willing to; would I be able to?

I can feel it “In The Air Tonight” something wanting to burst from the seams but what is that something; it’s not good I mean a girl like this one, the next one, Chrissy…

~At The Seams~

Behind an infinity of zeros
Empty gardens
Baby and Yo’s
And sellers’ markets
A villain not a hero
I find my heart not hardened

My words
But a dream
Are they spoken and heard
Becoming to be
My love, beautiful girl
Love bursting at the seams

* * *

Behind wonder and amazement
Gasps and sighs
Such is entertainment
Wondering why
I fret
And try to hide

My fear
Of a queen
You can’t be real
Yet it seems
This thrill
Desire bursting at the seams

* * *

Behind trying and lying
Drips and drops
Begging and crying
You’re so damn hot
Who is dying?
And who is not

Not a man
But Beauty and the Beast
The monster I am
A sin to want beauty
Am I damned?
Hell bursting at the seams

* * *

Stretching, popping, and bursting
Set me free
Of this yearning
Bursting at the seams

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Baring Angel

“Look, I hate purity. Hate goodness. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone corrupt.” ~1984~

You’re here, this is where it starts, the beginning you are here meaning that you are a good girl and you are willing to be soiled, violated, and corrupted. Maybe you aren’t a good girl at all and you’re here for want to be bad; I suppose I would believe either.

Let’s start with you being a good girl, apart of me says there is no such thing but the last girls I ever loved, a librarian, Danielle, and last but not least Chrissy were all good girls who felt I dirtied them or maybe I just wasn’t good enough. Being honest I don’t want some slut I want a girl that’s innocent and pure and then being with me well… maybe I just want to be saved and no I don’t do Jesus. For you to be with me, you have to be somewhat corruptible; I have missed so much in life so is it any wonder I want such a “bang”.

If you are already lost like I am, I want to be lost in the darkness together; first being in the bedroom, only flesh to guide us. I want a girl that has no idea, I guess kind of like me and no I don’t mean dumb but lost to this world so that we can make our way together. If anything you must be mad, not angry mad but crazy, there must be darkness but for me there must also be a light in the tunnel… does anyone get that.

You’re here, this is a good start, it means that at the very least you are open to the possibility of being with me, girl meets boy. If you want to be with me though as much as it pains me to say, you can’t just be an angel… fallen angel is perfect or falling.

~Baring Angel~

To love an angel
I cannot do
But if you are able
I’ll love you

Seeing without light
As we become bare
To each other tonight
But do you dare
Touch such a sight
Enter my lair

Flying without wings
Feathers stripped away
Am I your king?
As night gives way
You are everything
Today

Singing without harps
The sound of breaths
Such marks
What is left?
Of lost hearts
And a pretty mess

Resting without clouds
Where are we?
Then and now
It doesn’t matter to me
As long as I’m down
You and me baby

Losing without being lost
Undiscovered
Would you pay that cost?
To uncover
Can you cross?
And me discover

Because I love you
But are you able
To love me too
Bare all, fall angel

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

An Offer You Can and Will Refuse

“Only a fool refuses a woman who offers herself” Inuyasha; so what is a woman who rejects a man who offers himself? I guess it starts with what I’m offering and while I do offer all that I am, I’m afraid that’s not much.

I have never have any woman offer herself to me, mind, body, soul, or anything else that she may possess, which I have built up in my head as being everything. There was this girl I knew back in high school and I never considered her girlfriend material but what if she had wanted to be with me. I suppose it’s only fair nowadays considering what I am willing to give; what would you call a woman who rejects me… Chrissy, Susan, or whatever her name happens to be.

What I want to give is love, to be in love “unconditionally and irrevocably” as Bella put it; scary isn’t it that no one has ever loved me but I can think about being with some girl forever. I would offer my words and yes I do but I have wasted so many in my rejection that I wonder who even owns the words anymore. There was even a time I said “I can’t live without you” and that’s true enough; who could ever fall in love with a dead man… ha Trinity maybe.

Don’t feel bad for rejecting me like all the others I mean we are talking about catching a “Grenade” right? For the longest time I have believed that I am not worthy of love, don’t take this as a lack of confidence, it’s just me being honest.

So I can’t have love, I suppose I’ll be the typical guy and ask you simply for your body; yeah you just threw up a little bit right?

I could send you some pictures but what good what that do, other than the whole vomiting thing. Most of the time I don’t even know what I look like but when I do dare to look in the mirror my body isn’t much of anything. Did I mention that I’m also a virgin; twenty-six years old, still a virgin and still alive or at the very least existing.

I can’t offer you the night of your life and I must admit I have offer thought if I had the funds… but I could never even buy a woman; yes I know I watch a lot of movies. What about the fucking; obviously if you’re here you know my mind has been warped beyond repair, so the things I would do to you?

I don’t have anything worth the price of a princess, an angel, a goddess, or “Just Another” girl, as if I had a first one. I still think someone there has to be so humiliating video of me making it’s way across the internet and yet I want some girl that would be willing to make a sex tape. “If Only For One Night” to not be alone, to at the very least imagine what it’s like to be in love, and for once to be happy.

Sounds like I’m asking for everything and offering nothing I know, that’s why it’s an offer you can and will refuse but here I am hoping you won’t.

Where The Magic... Doesn't Happen

Do you want to see a magic trick; I’m not sure whether to call it the disappearing girl, the invisible girl, or maybe it’s not magic at all and is only a freak show.

Now you see her and now you don’t; it’s as if she was never here at all and the truth is she never was and never will be. I don’t need much to perform this trick all I have to do is walk outside and suddenly all the girls vanish which is strange because if I write a love spell it’s like moths to a flame… for some other guy. I’ve never had a beautiful assistant but I want one; I’m tired of being the puppet on this stage, I want to be a real boy and what makes real boys?

The girl is as invisible here as I am outside; call me a sorcerer but this is not a power that I want, at least Midas had the power to make girls stay. Sometimes I think that I’m the one that’s invisible and that might be for the better because let me tell you what happens when girls see me.

I’m a mess, there is no denying that; I rarely look in the mirror because it honestly doesn’t matter, I can’t change my outside as much as I can’t change what’s within. I know I’m a beast, a monster, and a freak but even this freak has to sleep sometime, better to be Edward, to have a face like that, a face that girls, actually wanted and I would gladly forgo sleep. If I could have a girl I would turn this stage into a freak show… eventually, at this point in my life I would be happy if some girl would just lie with me as we watch TV.

I don’t want magic tricks, I need a freaking miracle and that miracle would be if the girl wasn’t always disappearing, wasn’t some figment of my imagination, and if for once I was loved, being what I am.

The darkness, the night, and my pillows are magic; you might even call it faith because when I sleep I am transported from Hell to Heaven.

In my head I make girls reappear from everywhere and while they do appear their clothing disappears, unless we’re talking about a plaid skirt, I’ve always wanted to do a girl with her skirt on. A night spent together and who I am now will disappear and returned, somewhat changed, in love, not a virgin, and happy. Finally I don’t want her to disappear I want to hold a girl in my arms, and lie with her under the sun; I’ve built this up in my head to be bliss.

No one sees me, I mean the real me, but even I said I don’t look in the mirror because I’m afraid that I’m not invisible and really what do I expect to see? Making love though, that’s when you truly see a person, and I am not afraid because I said “making love” love doesn’t blind you if anything it is like a mirror, to see myself through a girl’s eyes, a girl that loves me would be wonderful.

I won’t lie about the things I want to do to a girl; you have to understand I have seen girls everywhere but here, so you can only imagine but I will share it with you sometime. I’ve always wanted to make a sex tape, I imagine seeing beauty and the beast would fetch a pretty penny. Honestly, I have seen so many girls make stripping videos for their boyfriends, I asked a girl to send me a picture once and then didn’t go over so well but for a girl to strip for me, to moan for me, and touch herself for me; yeah you think I’m sick right?

Magic isn’t real, neither are miracles, and yet here I am with nothing but tricks and I’m hoping and praying for a miracle, a girl to love, a girl like you.

Found Wanting

Why would you want me… this is my question to you and yet to myself the questions fall like rain; who am I, what am I doing, but probably more than who, is the what am I. In answering these questions for myself I can very easily answer the question posed to you in fact I could give you that answer now but why spoil it.

Who am I, what I would like to say is I am Will, Le Marquis de Joker, and maybe even the man of your dreams but these are simply making the best of a bad situation, making myself “bigger” than what I am or most importantly making myself happy; the truth is I’m Willie Bradford Jr. What am I doing, I’m trying to get a girlfriend, trying to win you, so how’s that going so far; see I can lie but I don’t like to so I’m telling you the truth and the truth is we will never be together. What am I, as much as I hate saying it I’m a human boy, not much of a man even at twenty-six, what I would like to be is more; more than what I am I just haven’t decided what that is to be, more human, more god, hell you’re here more evil…

So to my original question why would you want me, if I was who I pretended to be… well speaking as Le Marquis de Joker I model myself after Marquis de Sade and that is not a good thing. I can tell you my words have won many a girl… for the other guy as for what I’m doing with these words as far as everyone is concerned, maybe even you I am wasting my time amongst other things. What I am is what you want me to be; the last girl I ever loved taught me this and I might tell you about her sometime.

Now I could go on and on about who, what, and what but I suppose I have kept you in suspense long enough about your answer. Why would you want me… you couldn’t, you shouldn’t, and you wouldn’t ever want me but here I am trying anyway; how’s that not confident?

Ok so now why would I want you… because I’m the “Big Bad Wolf” okay being honest if anything I don’t want to be alone anymore but there has to be more to it right?

I want you because you’re beautiful, I mean you would have to be and I still wouldn’t talk to you because I would just be too shy. Now you see my picture up there so who am I to ask for someone beautiful; maybe too much Star Trek, I mean the more alien you are the hotter your girl, now a human always ends up with the hottest chick (unless you’re Captain Sisko) and so you see my conundrum at being human. You could call me shallow but I do love beautiful girls, just take a look around here and someday I might show you a picture of the last girl I loved; I swear I did not know what beauty was before her.

Not to sound like Winston Smith from “1984” but I want a girl that can be as evil as I want to be, naughty, corrupted, and dirty, not slutty but with a slutty tendencies. I want a girl that looks at this face, this blog, and my world and never wants to leave; a girl I could make naughty movies with, do in a dressing room, and would lie with me in the woods without a stitch on.

Most of all I want you to love me… now this would be one long conversation which I hope to get to but for you to love me and mean it. You have to make me as happy as I want to make you, again a long conversation but you see the face and if you have been paying attention I would do anything to make you happy, anything to be with you. I want you to believe in me; next to love that would perhaps be the second greatest thing any girl, any woman could do for me and of course it has never happened before.

Why do I want you… because man was not meant to do this alone, I’m lonely, and because I truly believe no one has ever loved me before and I fear no one ever will; I want someone to love and love me, what I want is you.