Where The Magic... Doesn't Happen

Do you want to see a magic trick; I’m not sure whether to call it the disappearing girl, the invisible girl, or maybe it’s not magic at all and is only a freak show.

Now you see her and now you don’t; it’s as if she was never here at all and the truth is she never was and never will be. I don’t need much to perform this trick all I have to do is walk outside and suddenly all the girls vanish which is strange because if I write a love spell it’s like moths to a flame… for some other guy. I’ve never had a beautiful assistant but I want one; I’m tired of being the puppet on this stage, I want to be a real boy and what makes real boys?

The girl is as invisible here as I am outside; call me a sorcerer but this is not a power that I want, at least Midas had the power to make girls stay. Sometimes I think that I’m the one that’s invisible and that might be for the better because let me tell you what happens when girls see me.

I’m a mess, there is no denying that; I rarely look in the mirror because it honestly doesn’t matter, I can’t change my outside as much as I can’t change what’s within. I know I’m a beast, a monster, and a freak but even this freak has to sleep sometime, better to be Edward, to have a face like that, a face that girls, actually wanted and I would gladly forgo sleep. If I could have a girl I would turn this stage into a freak show… eventually, at this point in my life I would be happy if some girl would just lie with me as we watch TV.

I don’t want magic tricks, I need a freaking miracle and that miracle would be if the girl wasn’t always disappearing, wasn’t some figment of my imagination, and if for once I was loved, being what I am.

The darkness, the night, and my pillows are magic; you might even call it faith because when I sleep I am transported from Hell to Heaven.

In my head I make girls reappear from everywhere and while they do appear their clothing disappears, unless we’re talking about a plaid skirt, I’ve always wanted to do a girl with her skirt on. A night spent together and who I am now will disappear and returned, somewhat changed, in love, not a virgin, and happy. Finally I don’t want her to disappear I want to hold a girl in my arms, and lie with her under the sun; I’ve built this up in my head to be bliss.

No one sees me, I mean the real me, but even I said I don’t look in the mirror because I’m afraid that I’m not invisible and really what do I expect to see? Making love though, that’s when you truly see a person, and I am not afraid because I said “making love” love doesn’t blind you if anything it is like a mirror, to see myself through a girl’s eyes, a girl that loves me would be wonderful.

I won’t lie about the things I want to do to a girl; you have to understand I have seen girls everywhere but here, so you can only imagine but I will share it with you sometime. I’ve always wanted to make a sex tape, I imagine seeing beauty and the beast would fetch a pretty penny. Honestly, I have seen so many girls make stripping videos for their boyfriends, I asked a girl to send me a picture once and then didn’t go over so well but for a girl to strip for me, to moan for me, and touch herself for me; yeah you think I’m sick right?

Magic isn’t real, neither are miracles, and yet here I am with nothing but tricks and I’m hoping and praying for a miracle, a girl to love, a girl like you.