This Friday marks the return of horror's most popular modern day monster: Freddy Kruger, in the
A Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Quite frankly I feel underwhelmed by it. Seeing as exact scenes are redone doesn't really do anything for me. But, I am a huge fan of Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach in the excellent
Watchmen, and I think he is a great choice to take over for Robert Englund. I also totally love the beautiful Katie Cassidy, and it's always nice to see her in a genre film, even if she is the remake babe. Will I see it? Eventually, if I hear good things, I'll see it sooner.
And, yes, I know there was a TV series, but man that show was pretty fucking bad...
Anyways, in celebration of Freddy's return, I will do quick reviews of the movies, including picking my fav kill. I should point out that of all the horror villains, Freddy is my favorite and the
Nightmare series holds a very special place in my heart, as they helped me get into the genre.
All reviews are out of 4 stars.
- A group of teens are terrorized by a hideously burned man in their dreams. But, if they die in their dreams they die for real. Turns out said man, Fred Krueger, is a filthy child murder, whom their parents burned alive when the courts let him go. He now wants revenge on them by killing their kids.
Craven's best movie is my third fav movie, ever. A dark, scary and imaginative horror movie that features some great effects despite the low budget. Our heroine, Nancy (the lovely Heather Langenkamp) is one of the genre's best heroines.
BEST KILL: Johnny Depp dies as a geyser of blood erupts from his bed, in a classic moment.
RATING: ****
- Taking place several years after the original a teen moves into Nancy's house, but finds that Freddy wants to possess him.
Though dark, this first sequel is one that I have never been a fan of. I always found it to be strangely uninteresting and uninvolving. It does have a weird homoerotic feel to it, though. And, there are some really memorable moments. The best of which is definitely when Kruger enters the real world at the pool party and tells the kids, "You are all my children now!". A truly classic moment.
BEST KILL: Friend gets impaled on door by Freddy's glove.
RATING: **
- The last group of the descendants of the parents who killed Freddy are being offed one by one at a psychiatric ward. Nancy returns to help them and destroy Freddy.
A return to form for the series, this is the best of all the sequels and one of the finest horror sequels, around. The tone is a perfect mix of the seriousness of the original and the jokieness that would take hold of the series from hear on in. The special effects are truly awesome. Including the beautiful effect that is Jennifer Rubin, who looks delicious as a punk babe. It was also great to see Nancy return. And, the whole concept of dream powers is pretty kick ass. Also kick ass is the Dokken title track played at the end of the film. A classic! This holds a special place in my heart because it was one of the first R-rated movies I saw in it's complete/ non-TV form.
BEST KILL: Kid gets turned into a puppet by Kruger with his veins as puppet strings. A personal favorite kill of mine!
RATING: ****
- Freddy comes back to kill the surviving characters from the last film, but Kristen (this time played by Tuesday Knight) gives her dream powers to the beautiful Alice (Lisa Wilcox). Freddy uses her to get to the other kids, though.
This one is totally over-the-top and would and mark the series officially turning towards a more campy villain. Freddy cracks lots of jokes, but Wilcox makes for a great heroine and the pace is fast. On top of that the FX work is excellent. A fun little ride.
BEST KILL: A hottie is turned into a roach. Awesome!!!!!
RATING: ***
- Freddy wants to possess Alice's baby. Alice must stop him.
This one suffers from some pacing problems, but again Wilcox makes for a yummy and great heroine. The FX work is still awesome, but I don't like the way Freddy looks in this. The kills range from the silly (the comic book kill is terrible) to the awesome (most of the other kills). In all, this one is pretty decent, but definitely a let down from the the two that preceded it. It should be noted that this movie was given an X-rating by the MPAA, and the R-rated DVD is cut.
BEST KILL: The beautiful Erica Anderson plays a girl who wants to be thin and is forced to eat her own guts. One of the goriest kills in the entire series.
RATING: **1/2
- The last of the Elm Street kids are dead. Now an amnesiac looks for Freddy's daughter to battle him, kill him, and end this forever. We learn more about his past and how he got his horrible powers.
The worst entry in the series this "ending" to it is pretty silly. The video game death is ridiculous and a series low point. The only way to watch this is in 3D, for the climax, otherwise it is crap.
BEST KILL: Freddy makes a dude's head blow up.
RATING (in 3D): **
in 2D: *1/2
- Taking place in the "real" world Freddy tries to leave the cinematic world and enter ours, as he terrorizes Heather Langenkamp (the actress not the character of Nancy). She seeks out Craven and Englund for help.
Imaginative entry in the series marks the return of Craven to the series. While, the movie is a solid entry in it; it hasn't aged as well as it should have. Still, this ranks as the third best in the series and one of Craven's best movies. Great acting by Langenkamp, a solid script, and good FX work help this one be something truly worth seeing.
BEST KILL: Babysitter gets dragged up the wall and slaughtered by Krueger.
RATING: ****
- Freddy uses Jason to escape from hell. They eventually meet and battle.
It took years for this one to be made, but it is fun enough to be worth the wait. Sure it's silly, but come on; what where you expecting? Hot babes, cool metal tunes, and lots of fucking gore. Works for me.
BEST KILL: Truth be told Freddy only has one kill, and it ain't the movie's best. But, this blog is about him and his movies, so... Anyways, his kill of a dude in the bathroom is pretty cool, nonetheless.
RATING: ***1/2
So
, there you have it. Hope this brought back memories for you guys. I would love to hear your thoughts on the series. And, I also wanna know, are you gonna see the remake? What are your thoughts on it? Anyways, remember, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T FALL ASLEEP!
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Now playing:
Emperor - Witches Sabbathvia FoxyTunes
This is my final report on the 2011 Toy Fair for the Gorezone.net. And, I think I saved the best for last! It's all on NECA toys, and they had some of the best stuff at the show!
The next part of my Toy Fair report. Go here to read it: http://www.gorezone.net/news.html After a few days it goes to the archives section, where it will stay for three months.
A is for ALIENS- In horror movies, aliens never want to be our friends. Nope. Instead, they can start as an egg laid by their giant queen mommy which has a crab like critter that comes out and then sticks to your face after which it lays another egg down your throat that grows and bursts out of your chest then grows up to be a monster with acid blood that has a second mouth inside it's own mouth that rips through your skull, or he might be a hunter from another world, or they may wanna turn us into food (be it cotton candy, fast food, etc!), or they maybe slugs that possess us or reanimate the dead, or it might be a being that can copy other living things, or... well, you get the idea!
B is for BLOOD- Blood and gore has been in horror movies for many years, now. Hammer studios were one of the first to flirt with it, but it was HG Lewis' cult favorites like Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs that gave our earliest taste of extreme gore. Meanwhile, George Romero's Night of the Living Dead bought it to the mainstream. Since, then movies, and just horror films, have been spilling the red stuff, and making us gorehounds very happy!
C is for CANNIBALS- One of the most extreme sub-genres in the horror film, cannibal movies can be pretty rough to watch. From the extreme (Cannibal Ferox, Jungle Holocaust, and, of course, the classic Cannibal Holocaust) to the erotic (?!) (Emmanuelle and the Last Cannibals) to the rather silly and fun (Zombie Holocaust, which has three things listed here!), most of them came from Italy. American movies can have cannibals too as Ravenous proves or the most famous cannibals of all, Hannibal Lector and a dude and his family from Texas.
D is for DRACULA- The most famous of all blood-suckers was born in Bram Stoker's classic novel. Bela Lugosi gave the first official movie performance based on it. And, while a million movies have been made about Drac and tons of guys played him since then; Christopher Lee remains THE definitive portrayal of the most famous of all vampires.
E is for ENTITY- An entity is a spirit, but few are as evil and perverse as the one in the movie of the same name. It stars Barbara Hershey as a woman repeatedly raped by the unseen force in graphic and horrifying scenes. Supposedly based on a true story, this underrated movie has one vile fucking ghost.
F is for FREDDY KRUEGER- A child killer is burned alive by parents pissed at him being let go by the court system. He becomes something much worse, as he kills teens in their sleep. The best of the slasher villains Freddy is one of horrordom's greatest, most evil, and most entertaining baddies. Plus, he surely helps coffee stock go up!
G is for GODZILLA- The first movie (Gojria) was meant to signify the horrors of nuclear warfare. The King of the Monsters would go to play villain and hero in many movies after that. He battled the army and both good and evil monsters. To this very day, he reigns supreme and keeps his crown. For no monster can ever be as great as the big G!!!!!!!!!!
H is for HALLOWEEN- Of course, it's every horror fans favorite holiday, but it is also the name of John Carpenter's classic, that would inspire many a rip-off, sequel, and remake. It also gave us Michael Myers, perhaps the scariest of all slasher villains. Pure evil, Myers does not seem to love his family very much (like his sisters, niece, etc) or anyone else for that matter. But, at least we know he is always busy on this holiday! Though, that's probably not a good thing for those living in Haddonfield... Which also begins with the letter H! Double score!
I is for ICHI THE KILLER- This ultra-violent modern classic by shockmaster Takashi Miike this ranks as one of this best films. It also happens to be one of his most extreme. And, coming from him that is saying A LOT! At times, it is funny, but other times it is damn fucked up. The nipple slicing scene ranks as one of cinema's most shocking and hard to watch moments. Ichi, himself, is one of the most insane and fucked up characters in all of filmdom. A perfect example of why I love Asian cinema so much.
J is for JASON VOORHEES- The unstoppable killer of Camp Crystal Lake drowned as a child, but when he saw his revenge seeking mom get her head lopped off, he came back to exact murderous vengeance on all who come to the infamous camp. The best reason to never go into the woods can never die. He also does not approve of you having premarital sex or doing drugs. Talk about being a party pooper!
K is for KING KONG- It's one of the finest, if not in fact the finest, giant monster movie ever made. But, the character himself a giant ape with a thing for hot human chicks. That usually leads to bad things happening to him, but hey that's what you get when you think with your other head! Kong would go on to battle Godzilla and even his own evil robot double, as well as being remade twice. Plus, he even had a kid in a terrible, terrible sequel. Will Kong ever return again? Who knows. Just remember when he does he will surely kidnap a hot chick and take her on a date to the top of a building! Now is that not romantic?
L is for LESBIAN VAMPIRES- That most favorite of exploitation subgenres, has been with us for quite a few years now. Jean Rollin is the most prolific filmmaker to go down this route, while Hammer has done a few of their own, including the wonderful The Vampire Lovers. But, Vampyres remains the best of them all. Since, then DTV movies have inundated the market with lots of cheap-o softcore material. For an endless list of rugmuncher bloodsucker movies, try Seduction Cinema. Also, of note is that this type of movie will give you wood, and I don't mean the kind that you drive into the heart of the undead (unless that is you thing, in which case, goddamn you're a sick, wierdo!)
M is for MAD SCIENTISTS- They're geniuses, and they are crazy. They make living beings out of dead body parts, or re-animate corpses, or they try to explore other dimensions that make your pineal gland grow and turn you into a monster, or they connect you ass to mouth with two others to make a human centipede! In other words, they do NOT make science fun for you. But, they do remind you that science geek in class could have the ability to make zombies. So, leave him the fuck alone!
- A group of teens are terrorized by a hideously burned man in their dreams. But, if they die in their dreams they die for real. Turns out said man, Fred Krueger, is a filthy child murder, whom their parents burned alive when the courts let him go. He now wants revenge on them by killing their kids.
- Taking place several years after the original a teen moves into Nancy's house, but finds that Freddy wants to possess him.
- The last group of the descendants of the parents who killed Freddy are being offed one by one at a psychiatric ward. Nancy returns to help them and destroy Freddy.
- Freddy comes back to kill the surviving characters from the last film, but Kristen (this time played by Tuesday Knight) gives her dream powers to the beautiful Alice (Lisa Wilcox). Freddy uses her to get to the other kids, though.
- Freddy wants to possess Alice's baby. Alice must stop him.
- The last of the Elm Street kids are dead. Now an amnesiac looks for Freddy's daughter to battle him, kill him, and end this forever. We learn more about his past and how he got his horrible powers.
- Taking place in the "real" world Freddy tries to leave the cinematic world and enter ours, as he terrorizes Heather Langenkamp (the actress not the character of Nancy). She seeks out Craven and Englund for help.
- Freddy uses Jason to escape from hell. They eventually meet and battle.
