Lesson 118 ~Goodbye Is My New High~

Sunday, August 14, 2011



Hey Lady Lu…

It could be that I’m just like everyone else, it could be the poem I wrote a few minutes, or maybe it’s the movie I just watched “Remember Me” but I have just come to a realization. You know what makes us better… death; all the pills, all the thrills, and everything else but if you’re looking for a cure to this life, death is the answer.



Luna you see the date right, okay doesn’t mean anything to me really but what I mean to say is it is getting close to September 11th and they have been talking about how everyone behaved in the aftermath. Any other time before this place is like an apocalyptic wasteland with every man for themselves but in the aftermath of the attack people began to give a damn about their fellow man, for awhile at least. Why does this only occur when massive death, why can’t I go outside right now and see Americans, hell people in general behave like they did then; fuck I sound like someone that works for Fox News.



It’s no secret how I feel about my own life… killing myself is the only way to fix me, dare I actually look myself in the mirror a say “And I will try to fix you” too late for that. Death is the thing that will bring us all together, it will make us all happy, and in the end it will make us all better people… and those bastards a lot richer. I hold no delusions Lady Lu that I will be forgiven, that I won’t be a “Bad Man” but I will be cured and exactly what The Abomination wants me to be; sad I know but I have known this all along; that I’m going to Hell.



So what have I learned today… haven’t I said it enough, goodbye fixes everything but only if it is of a very permanent nature and only for a time. My final thought Luna; I hate when pretty girls have to die but could I call this a type of happy ending, Goodbye Is My New High…



LATE



~Goodbye Is My New High~



Heads up and eyes high

Into the clouds, into the blue

And yet falling as if for a fallen angel

I am falling, have fallen, for you

But they all wonder why



Mouth agape, heaving, breathing, and speaking

To your back, your shadow, and your silhouette

My words are carried on the wind

The you you’re not, the one I can’t forget

Such volume; the crying and screaming



How many happy pills and forgotten thrills

To look up and see my betters

And love, yes love Big Brother

Acknowledging, you and I will never be together

Is this so far or very near?



Hotter and harder, straighter and higher

And I want to bury “it”

Deep and so down below

How I am truly sick

For you my one desire



But I will only ever rise a few feet

Never will I be one to fly

Or live truly free… but in death

Does anyone ask or cry

Where it is I now sleep



As high as I’ve ever been

I have only set out to go lower

Where you say and he says I belong

Never to fly, climb, or jump; only fall regardless

Why is this so very wrong?

To love you girl, never knowing your world

Such is my greatest sin



To look so very high

And I live even lower

Goodbye Is My New High



Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.