TV Shows Round Up- Aug 2011

For those of you who think that think that just cause it ain't Fall there ain't nothing to watch on TV, you're so fucking wrong. In fact, there is some really good stuff on TV, right now. Here's a round up for some of the stuff, I'm watching currently.

WARNING: SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

All reviews out of 4 stars (and are based on how the show has been up and until this point in time).

Torchwood: Miracle Day- The fourth series from the BBC show (but the first to be in collaboration with the US), this amazing sci-fi drama on Starz is jaw droppingly good. In it, Miracle Day has come and no one dies. Ever. NO matter what happens to them or is done to them. It brings up some great philosophical questions, that coupled with the great writing and acting make for excellent genre television. Last night's ending, involving what is done to those who should be dead, has a real "HOLY SHIT!! THAT'S fucked up!!!" feel to it. Highly recommended. ****

Thundercats- This update on the classic 80s toon, is like the 2001 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe toon, a HUGE improvement over the original. It's darker, smarter, and more mature. The animation is stunning and action scenes are exciting. Plus, Snarf don't talk, characters die, and Lion-O is cool as fuck. And, Mumm-Ra fucking rules! It's only been three episodes (including the premiere which was two episodes in one), but it's already got my fullest attention. Also highly recommended. ****


G4/ Marvel Anime: Iron Man & Wolverine- Like the two aforementioned show, this airs on Friday night, making Friday nights extra awesome and geeky. They are the first of four Animes based on the Marvel Universe (the next two are The X-Men and Blade). Both feature gorgeous animation. Iron Man is decent enough, Wolverine is the better of the two with some exciting and violent action. Neither are great, yet, but are worth seeing, nonetheless. I like the more mature take on Marvel heroes, as opposed to the usual kid-friendly crap toons. Iron Man- **1/2, Wolverine- ***



True Blood, Season 4- After the highly uneven last season, this one has turned out great, so far. The first episode comes off as all over the place, but it needed to be to set up what would follow. Tara is a lesbian (her girlfriend is HOT!!), Bill is the vampire king of Louisiana, Jason is sheriff, and lot of other plot points. Including the fact that now we got witches!!! And, thanks to them Eric is as sweet and nice as a puppy dog. Sookie and him have hooked up, and it seems to only be getting better and better!! It's good to see one of my fav shows back in form. ***1/2



Celebrity Rehab- In the past I have said I hate most reality TV, but there are always exceptions. I watched some of last season thanks to them having Jennifer "Penny Flame" Ketcham on. This season has Sean Young, Bai Ling, and Amy Fisher, so I had to watch. I have to say I really feel for Ling, her story of what happened to her is heart-wrenching. Steven Adler proves that Axl Rose was not the only asshole in GN'R. In all it's good TV, and I'm glad to be watching it more often, than I had been. ***

Voltron Force- By far the weakest of the shows, that I am reviewing this one ain't bad. But, it's not really great either. It's a sequel to the original TV show. And, it makes up for the errors of that show, IE no corny mice or repetitive episodes, but I still want more Ro-Beasts! Also, I do not like the animation. But, my biggest problem are the kids added to the show. They are suppose to take over for our heroes, when they are done. But, they are mostly annoying, and I wish a Ro-Beast would step on them. I haven't watched it as religiously as I should. But, it just hasn't caught my interest as much. Which means, I forget it is on, sometimes. Oh, well. **

How to Celebrate the 4th of July, Master Style

It's Independence Day and aside from the all BBQs, booze, and fireworks; I would like to recommend some other awesome things you could thrown in for the celebration!

Let's begin with cartoons. And, they don't get more appropriate then G.I. Joe. It was one of the most beloved toons of the 80s, and one of the best action figures of all time. Even better are the excellent comics or the the more mature toon G.I. Joe: Resolute, which actually had people getting killed! And, it let the Joes use guns instead of laser weapons. Avoid the terrible G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, unless you are into seeing your childhood memories be raped.

Speaking of movies, I say go with the Rambo movies. I would go with the first, second, and/ or forth one. It's always fun to see Stallone kick the baddies asses! Horror fans, please avoid seeing Uncle Sam. It's a terrible movie, and you're way better off wallowing in the ultra-violence of Rambo. Hard to believe Uncle Sam was made by William Lusting, he of Maniac, Maniac Cop Trilogy, and Vigilante fame. Then again, he did make Maniac Cop 3... You can always watch American Psycho or An American Haunting, of course. Those are actually good movies.

Perhaps you are in the mood to see guys beat the shit out of each other. In which case I say go with pro-wrestling. I would say sticking with Hulk Hogan (only as a babyface [ good guy]) and/ or Kurt Angle (as a heel [bad guy] or babyface) matches. Or, better yet the awesome matches that they had in WWE. The Real American vs. the American Hero, what the fuck more could you ask for?

Now, of course, you might need some reading material. I would go with some Captain America comics. I been a fan of Capt. since I was a kid. He remains one of my favorite heroes in the Marvel Universe. You can always delight as he battles scumbags like the Red Skull or even terrorist pieces of shit, as he did, for a while, post 9-11. I am looking forward to seeing the Capt. movie. But, I hope they do it right. Avoid at all costs ANY of the old Captain America movies, including the 90s one with the Italian (?!) Red Skull! Seriosuly, what the fuck were they thinking with that one?!

What about some tunes, now? Well, you can go with such great feeling music like: The Misfits- American Psycho, Marilyn Manson- Portrait of an American Family, Rob Zombie- American Made Music to Strip by, or GWAR- America Must be Destroyed!

Now of course, there is nothing more American than porn! So, I would definitely recommend some smut, too. Then again, in my book, any time is always a great time to enjoy pornography! This Hustler cover proves my point, does it not? Maybe, I could also recommend you popping in American Daydreams, Vol. 4?

You should also have a party and tell all the hot girls coming that they must wear bikinis with Old Glory on them. T&A and the Red, White, and Blue. What's more American than that?

Anyways, I just want to wish you all a Happy 4th of July! Have lots of fun and stay safe!And, getting back to the whole porno thing, I would like to say that one of the hottest MILFs, in the history of the world, and one of this blog's most popular babes to talk about, Vicky Vette, wants, to wish you a Happy Independence Day, too! Definitely, makes you stand in attention, does it, not?

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Now playing: Possessed - Satan's Curse
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Thundar the Barbarian: The Most Badass Toon of the 80s

Do any of you recall an 80s Saturday morning cartoon by the name of Thundarr the Barbarian? Obviously, I do. If any of you don't, you should check it out. It airs at 11PM on the Boomerang network. I loved this show as a kid. It was pretty cool and freaky. Without a shadow of a doubt it had THE best intro, possibly in all of cartoon history. I know it freaked me out as a kid!


Now clearly this did not happen in 1994 (thank God!), but that was enough to get me interested. Thundarr was a badass, even if he was a clearly "inspired" by He-Man and Conan and his sun sword a rip-off of the light saber. his companion Ookla the Mok was a rip-off of Chewbaca, but he was fucking cool! And, Princess Ariel was a hottie with magical powers. In this future where magic and "super-science" ruled, Thundarr was the hero that whooped the baddies' asses. The bad guys including: monsters, mutants, aliens, robots, etc. But, he really had an issue with wizards. I am guessing The Wizard of Oz would be better off not meeting him, well for his sake anyways!

Thundarr also loved saying his catch phrases like "Demon dogs!" (uhh, maybe he once had a bad run-in with the Terror Dogs, from Ghostbusters?) and "Lords of light!" (which sounds like a really crappy techno band or shitty power metal group, you choose). While, he never killed anyone in the cartoon (duh!); I would like to think that he would have. I mean he is a fucking Barbarian for crissakes!

I loved the fact that our civilization was in ruins and it's remnants, like world famous buildings and structures, were featured predomintally. It added to the coolness factor.

Anyways, I've been thinking about this, how's about making this into a feature film? Now, if I could make it, I would make as badass as possible. I would cast the following for the lead roles:

HHH as Thundarr- I ain't sure if his age is right, but he has the right look for the character. Besides didn't he wanna play Conan the Barbarian? Well, this is the next best thing!








Nyomi Marcella as Princess Ariel- Now, I realize that no one would ever hire a porn star to play a role based on a kid's toon, but fuck 'em! This is my fucking cast! I am a long time fan of the beautiful Ms. Marcela (her sister is, of course, the beautiful Jade Marcella, who is retired from the biz), and she has THE perfect look for the role! I mean she is damn enchanting without using any magic. And, she'd look AMAZING in THAT outfit!!!!!!!!!




Vin Diesel as Ookla the Mok- His best role is still voicing a robot in The Iron Robot so this could be his second best role! But, make it a suit, like Chewbaca. No CGI Ookla, that would suck Mok cock.



So, there you have my cast. I doubt that Ruby Spears (who made and put out the toon) would approve of it, but who the fuck cares? And, I do realize that this cast would never win any Oscars, but it's not meant to be Citizen Kane. It's a fantasy/ sci-fi story about a barbarian with an energy sword who is friends with a large, fuzzy man-monster (and, no I don't mean the A-Train or Ron Jeremy!) and a hot witch princess. In other words, it is pure fucking gold! At the very least can we please have the complete series released as a DVD set?!

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Now playing: Dark Tranquillity - I Am The Void
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