How to Celebrate the 4th of July, Master Style

It's Independence Day and aside from the all BBQs, booze, and fireworks; I would like to recommend some other awesome things you could thrown in for the celebration!

Let's begin with cartoons. And, they don't get more appropriate then G.I. Joe. It was one of the most beloved toons of the 80s, and one of the best action figures of all time. Even better are the excellent comics or the the more mature toon G.I. Joe: Resolute, which actually had people getting killed! And, it let the Joes use guns instead of laser weapons. Avoid the terrible G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, unless you are into seeing your childhood memories be raped.

Speaking of movies, I say go with the Rambo movies. I would go with the first, second, and/ or forth one. It's always fun to see Stallone kick the baddies asses! Horror fans, please avoid seeing Uncle Sam. It's a terrible movie, and you're way better off wallowing in the ultra-violence of Rambo. Hard to believe Uncle Sam was made by William Lusting, he of Maniac, Maniac Cop Trilogy, and Vigilante fame. Then again, he did make Maniac Cop 3... You can always watch American Psycho or An American Haunting, of course. Those are actually good movies.

Perhaps you are in the mood to see guys beat the shit out of each other. In which case I say go with pro-wrestling. I would say sticking with Hulk Hogan (only as a babyface [ good guy]) and/ or Kurt Angle (as a heel [bad guy] or babyface) matches. Or, better yet the awesome matches that they had in WWE. The Real American vs. the American Hero, what the fuck more could you ask for?

Now, of course, you might need some reading material. I would go with some Captain America comics. I been a fan of Capt. since I was a kid. He remains one of my favorite heroes in the Marvel Universe. You can always delight as he battles scumbags like the Red Skull or even terrorist pieces of shit, as he did, for a while, post 9-11. I am looking forward to seeing the Capt. movie. But, I hope they do it right. Avoid at all costs ANY of the old Captain America movies, including the 90s one with the Italian (?!) Red Skull! Seriosuly, what the fuck were they thinking with that one?!

What about some tunes, now? Well, you can go with such great feeling music like: The Misfits- American Psycho, Marilyn Manson- Portrait of an American Family, Rob Zombie- American Made Music to Strip by, or GWAR- America Must be Destroyed!

Now of course, there is nothing more American than porn! So, I would definitely recommend some smut, too. Then again, in my book, any time is always a great time to enjoy pornography! This Hustler cover proves my point, does it not? Maybe, I could also recommend you popping in American Daydreams, Vol. 4?

You should also have a party and tell all the hot girls coming that they must wear bikinis with Old Glory on them. T&A and the Red, White, and Blue. What's more American than that?

Anyways, I just want to wish you all a Happy 4th of July! Have lots of fun and stay safe!And, getting back to the whole porno thing, I would like to say that one of the hottest MILFs, in the history of the world, and one of this blog's most popular babes to talk about, Vicky Vette, wants, to wish you a Happy Independence Day, too! Definitely, makes you stand in attention, does it, not?

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Now playing: Possessed - Satan's Curse
via FoxyTunes

A Farewell to Shawn Michaels

Last night was a tear filled farewell from Shawn Michaels, born Michael Shawn Hickenbottom on July 22, 1965, as the Heartbreak Kid officially retired from pro-wrestling. This is my tribute to him. But, I should warn you that while I respect Shawn, I am not a fan. I am, though, a wrestling fan, as such I know what he contributed to this great sport. So, I think because of that this one will be a little different than other tributes.

While, Shawn had been in the AWA, my first exposure to him would come when he and tag partner Marty Jannetty would first appear in the WWF. Formerly the Midnight Rockers, upon entering the WWF, they dropped the Midnight in the their name and became, simply, The Rockers. The Rockers were one of my fav tag teams growing up. They were talented and very influential on future tag teams that were to come in pro-wrestling. They would eventually hold the tag titles, but alas all good things most come to an end, as Shawn turned heel. In one of the most memorable turns in all of wrestling, he gave Jannetty a superkick through the glass on Brutus Beefcake's Barber Shop set.

That made Shawn into one of my most hated heels, of that period in time. He became a conceited asshole and soon had the beautiful Sherri Martel, no longer managing Randy Savage, as his manager/ valet. Sherri, said, was in love with the "Boy Toy". She even sang the lyrics to the original version of his entrance song, thus he became "The Heartbreak Kid". As, I said I hated Shawn during this time, but that only meant that he was doing a great job as a heel. But, he came out with Sherri, one of my biggest crushes growing up, so I looked forward to see her! He would eventually drop Sherri, and become his own man. He would even have Big Daddy Cool Diesel as his bodyguard. All of this was shaping him into the superstar he would become. He also held the Intercontinental Title. But, was destined for even better things...

One of his best matches was for the vacated IC belt in a ladder match with Razor Ramon. Again, Shawn was influencing all that was to come in the biz. He would eventually turn face. And, this would lead to his biggest push, yet. He would get his first world title against Bret Hart in their classic Iron Man Match at Wrestlemania XII. From here on many of my most memorable Michaels, including the passing out bit on Raw and the "I lost my smile" thing would occur.

As the face of wrestling changed to a more mature attitude, i.e. the WWF Attitude Era, Shawn was at the forefront with his new heel faction, D-Generation X, which was him and his real life buddy Hunter Hearst Helmsley (HHH) and his then girlfriend Chyna. The factions catch phrase "SUCK IT!" while crotch chopping and crude sense of humor was unlike anything I had every seen. This became my fav period in HBK's career. But, the Montreal Screwjob, where Bret Hart lost the title belt to him, would make me hate Shawn more than ever. But, DX was so much fun, I spent a good deal of my college life imitating him (and others, as well). My absolute fav Shawn Michaels/ DX promo:


Shawn was injured though and would have to drop the belt to Austin. He would not return till 1999 and do some on and off things with the WWF. He even joined the nWo at one point. I totally marked for him joining them! But, it was time for him to get back in the ring. And, he would do that in 2002, first having a great feud with HHH, that led to some hellacious matches. Of course, he would recapture gold, as well. Most impressive was the quality of matches that he could still pull off. And, he had it with the best of them. He even had a dream match against Hulk Hogan, in an angle I was totally marking out for.

By this point Shawn had found God in his life, so gone were the dick jokes and such. Shawn's own religious beliefs came into play when he feuded with Vince. Vince even made Shawn tag team with God in one of the stupidest things I had ever seen. Anyways, DX would return, with only HHH and HBK. HBK could not be doing the type of shit he used to, being religious and all, but HHH did. I though this return of DX was OK.

As, the WWE changed and entered the PG era the next return of DX was shit to me. Still, Shawn did, still, have great matches. I never really cared for his babyface promos, but man, he could still give it his all in a wrestling match. And, so this Sunday he lost to the Undertaker in a good match (though, I prefer their WM match from last year more).

He delivered a very emotional speech last night on WWE Monday Night Raw. And, although I sure as hell did not want him to end Taker's streak and wanted to see him go, I was still saddened. It was not as emotional for me as it was seeing Flair (who ended up not retiring, and going to TNA) leave. But, Michaels had some of my fav matches ever. And, some of my favorite moments, too.

Here is a little piece of that speech:


For that I that I say "THANK YOU, SHAWN MICHAELS!" God bless him. For he is the:
THE SHOWSTOPPER
THE MAIN EVENT
THE ICON
THE HEARTBREAK KID,
SHAWN MICHAELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Now playing: Megadeth - Psychotron
via FoxyTunes

Wrestling- These Last Few Weeks

I have been a wrestling ever since I was a kid. My earliest, vivid memory of it was Mr. Wonderful turning on Hogan. And, in the Attitude era, I was insanely into wrestling. But, since the fall of ECW and WCW it has been VERY hard to be a wrestling fan. Anywho, here are some of my random thoughts on recent shit that has been going down:

WWE Goes to the Kids- Back in the days of the Monday Night Wars, wrestling began to take a turn towards more mature storylines. Thanks to the underground popularity of ECW and the fact that WCW was kicking their ass in the ratings, the WWF began, in 1997 (though hints were already appearing before that) to add more sex, graphic language, adult themes, and blood to their TV shows. WCW would partake in this too, though, not really, until former WWF writer Vince Russo jumped ship to them. Cut to the present. With the wrestling biz getting slammed by the critics and the news, the WWE decides to fore go that type of entertainment and not concentrate on the 18-39 male demographic (who gave them their rating to begin with). So no more excessive amounts of blood, no Divas in thongs, no cursing, no beer drinking, no sex, etc. A recent segment had JBL trying to convince straight edger CM Punk to do a shot of whiskey. WTF?! A long cry from the days of Austin drinking beer in the ring. Guess, the WWE now cares more about selling T-shirts to Cena's 12 year old fans than to appeal to the older fans. Fuck 'em!

Jeff Jarrett and Sting- first and foremost, who gives a fuck about them? Do any of you? If so, please, write a comment, cause I sure as hell do not! I stopped caring about Sting after WCW folded. I was a huge mark for the guy. And, while he can still put out a good match, his promos suck ass. And, I care even less about this whole thing they are doing on TNA, with has he turned heel? Fuck Sting! And, fuck this storyline, too! And, it has only gotten worse, cause now it seems Jeff Jarrett will return. Uhm, why?! Known as the HHH of TNA, the last time I cared for him was also in the waning days of TNA. I was a huge mark for his "Slap Nuts" gimmick. But, I HATED everything he has done in TNA, since. Yes, he too, can pull off a good match, but his time is over. I really get angry whenever the guitar or bat appear on TV. Quite frankly, Sting and Jarrett can shove their weapons up their collective asses!

Gail Kim Leaves TNA- If you have read my past blogs on Gail Kim , you know I am HUGE mark for her. She recently got done with her three year contract with TNA . So, she has now signed with the WWE. I hope they use her right. Last time she was there, the WWE totally misused her. Expect me to way pissed-off if they do this again. I would love to see Gail on Raw and kick the ass out of all their Divas and get the belt. I greatly prefer her to anyone on the WWE roster. Hey, she might even get her own figure, finally! But it bares mentioning that her last weeks on TNA had a storyline involving her "sister", Katie Kim...

Katie Kim, Who the Hell Is She Really?- Well, she ain't Gail's real life sister, that's for sure. In reality she is referee's Earl Hebner's daughter the beautiful Jennifer Lee Chan . She has done acting on TV and used to wrestle, as Jade , on the shitty now dead brand known as WOW (Women of Wrestling) run by the guy who use to run GLOW, as Jade:



I wonder what they will with her now, that Gail is gone. But, goddamn is she hot or what?!

Whatever Happened to: Kimona Wanalaya?

Every once in a while, I will pick a hot babe and wonder what she is up to. Sometimes, i will be able to answer it myself, sometimes, as in this case, i will not be able to. Anyways, my first babe to get this treatment is ECW/ WCW valet, the gorgeous Kimona Wanalaya.

Born Kristina Laum , in Seoul, South Korea on Nov. 23, 1976, she had a short but memorable career in the world of pro-wrestling.

She began her career as valet to Raven in ECW. There she had two memorable moments. One she danced atop of the ECW
arena and stripped. And, the other being the classically controversial lesbo angle with her and Beulah.




She would then go to Jersey All Pro Wrestling, but then return to TV in WCW valeting for the Varsity Club (Kevin Sullivan, mike Rutundo, and Rock Steiner) as the cheerleader Leia Meow. She would do stuff like jump on a trampoline, which was a total rip-off of the Man Show. But, she looked so fucking that no one, in their right mind could be complaining!

After, this she would manage the Jung Dragons(Jamie-San, Yun Yang, and Kaz Hayazhi). Shewore a dominatrix outfit and carried a riding crop! She looked so YUMMY in this outfit!!!!!! Spank me, please!!

This match has her a bunch of other WCW hotties involved:




But, alas, WCW was bought by the WWF, and Vince McMahon let her go, cause he sux! She then went to X Wrestling Federation, but when XFW was done, so was she with pro-wrestling.

According to one website she lives in Maple Shade Township, Jersey. I have no clue what she is up to, but I would love to see her return to wrestling and/ or do a Chiller convention. Either way I miss this beautiful, sexy, exotic goddess!

A Farewell to "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

Now, i missed Wrestle Mania XXIV cause, well quite frankly the WWE blows, nowadays, but I hear it was a good show. i think I will get the DVD when it hits stores.

Anywho, the major thing people have been talking about is the Flair-HBK match. It is said to be Flair's last match.

Now, as a kid, my only exposure to wrestling was WWF, but I knew of Ric Flair. Anywys, i loved it when he came to the WWF. His feud with Savage was classic and ahead of it's time, with it's storyline of pics of Miss. Elizabeth. It made Ric Flair a true scumbag heel.

While, Flair could play face, well, he was best as heel. The man could not only wrestle amazing matches and carry under-talented wrestlers, but he cut some of the greatest promos ever. When he called Bishoff a son of a bitch, it was one of the greatest moments in WCW Nitro history.

Flair had great memorable feuds with guys like Sting, Steamboat, Hogan, Race, the aforementioned Savage, Rhodes, etc. I would eventually see many of old NWA/ WCW matches on the excellent DVD: The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection. If you you can find it (it is pretty old after all) you should totally get it!

He was a part of the Horsemen. Sure some incarnations sucked ass (Paul Roma? Mongo McMichaels?), but without them we would have had had no nWo, D-X, or Evolution (OK, no Evolution would not have been a bad thing, as they were a Horsemen rip-off all the way, IMHO).

I had the pleasure of meeting the Nature Boy a few years ago, when his excellent auto-biography came out. He signed that for me and his DVD.

Last night's Raw was forgettable crap, except for the classy good-bye to Flair that had classic wrestlers like Steamboat, Valentine, Rhodes, etc., all of the WWE roster, and his family come out. He cried, and it made me tear up.

Flair will be missed in the ring. God bless him. Long live the Nature Boy! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!