A Baring Absence of Love

I’m not absent of feeling, I am absent of the want to feel because all you ever make me feel is pain and everyone sees it. A Baring Absence of Love… I want to see you bare, exposed, and naked as I have been; a show of love or at least I won’t be fooled.



~A Baring Absence of Love~

Take Me... Well

What are things I wanted you to say to me, back when I had more balls than brains; and all of me was dreaming. Take Me… Well; where is that lovers go… I wouldn’t know the first thing except that I wanted you to be my… well does it even matter anymore?



~Take Me... Well~

Just A Teddy On The Floor

I sat there, I let you, and I would do so again, be your toy fall in love with you again… as if I ever stopped. Just A Teddy On The Floor… my gift, I’m waiting for you but if I remember we never ever played before Sweetness, didn’t need me then or now.



~Just A Teddy On The Floor~

Sea of Electrons, An Air

No web cams, not streaming and it wasn’t even the day to day… for you but I treated this love as if you were right here with me. Sea of Electrons, An Air… I wonder how you were that day for me, it was as if I couldn’t breathe, no air, no air.



~Sea of Electrons, An Air~

Checkered Past

My background, my past, and the present; everyone wonders why I have no future or they don’t care to wonder. Checkered Past… does it matter black or white, in living color; what I am is what I am and that is exactly what you don’t want ever.



~Checkered Past~

Drowning In Because

Reasons, Excuses, and because; telling me why you don’t love me is as easy breathing and that is something that is getting harder and harder for me to do. Drowning In Because… my head is barely above water, my fault for still hearing anything.



~Drowning In Because~

Orange You Glad

I’ve never been one for fruit and I’ve been one for girls but the fruit is ripe but am I boyfriend ready; perhaps not, perhaps I never will be. Orange You Glad… you’ll never be my girlfriend or maybe you’re just looking for a bite, ouch.



~Orange You Glad~

Dollars, Words, Me... Can't Buy Me Love

I can’t buy your love, hers, or hers, so what is it I’m really paying for, what is it that I wish to take. Dollars, Words, Me… Can’t Buy Me Love; I need so very little and now I want so much and in the end, as always you will give me nothing.



~Dollars, Words, Me... Can't Buy Me Love~

Are You... Just A Girl

I’ll fall in love with you and then you’ll become something better, something greater, and I’ll find myself unworthy of your love. Are You… Just A Girl; no never and this is the reason you’ll never love me, no not ever.



~Are You... Just A Girl~

Looking Dim

My birthday is coming up; no better day to kill myself but I’ve been trying, multiple pill binges, starving myself, and The Abomination won’t murder me though he wants to. Looking Dim… so many candles now and yet my future is in darkness.



~Looking Dim~

Aloft My Love

I have placed girls on pedestals, on clouds of white, and even as stars in the sky; this is no different the fact she is so high above me. Aloft My Love… we never got to “hang” out but why is it I still adore her and reach out.



~Aloft My Love~

Goodbye Is My New High

Another fix, sleeping pills aren’t enough, starvation, hell not even a broken heart is enough for me to get off any more, a masochist wanting desperately to play sadist. Goodbye Is My New High… death has to be that ultimate high.



~Goodbye Is My New High~

More In The Closet...

No I’m not gay… relax, I guess I should be saying that to everyone but there is something in the closet but not skeletons, not yet. More In The Closet… more than darkness, more than loneliness, how about it ladies, any of you got seven minutes.



~More In The Closet...~

Before You Leave... Please Stay

There was a time I thought I convince a girl to stay, there was a time I thought I could convince a girl to follow too and here I am alone. Before You Leave… Please Stay; to think about if I could win her but I couldn’t win Sweetness.



~Before You Leave... Please Stay~

Carnal Learning

The lesson, how to love a pretty girl but having grown up I still don’t know how, I don’t know the first thing. Carnal Learning… how I once stared at this girl in class and another that made me realize that I still don’t know a thing.



~Carnal Learning~

No One Goes There

Go where… are you listening to me, go where and no this is not the body snatchers again this is good ole humanity I’m attempting to escape. No One Goes There… I’ve seen “there”, I want to go “there”; I’m less scared than yesterday.



~No One Goes There~

Full Mouth... On An Empty Stomach

Someone told me once that went I attempted to starve myself to death (six days, not pretty) that I was emotional starved or something to that effect. Full Mouth… On An Empty Stomach, I couldn’t eat because I was already so full of rage and sadness.



~Full Mouth... On An Empty Stomach~

Looking Grim

Does anyone remember “Daria” and the episode the Misery Chick, she only knew the truth; better than most. Looking Grim… but how many people get to see my face and yet I talk about my life and… who am I kidding my life is miserable.



~Looking Grim~

A Word for Me

How many ways can I tell her that I love her, how many words have I written speaking of my feelings? A Word For Me… I eventually did get that word, a year and a half later and if I was to speak just one more… so I sit and wait hoping for another word.



~A Word for Me~

Nowhere to Love

Somewhere only we know or somewhere only I know it seems, considering I’m the only one that feels… out of place, there is no place. Nowhere to Love… how I hope this isn’t true forever; I hope I can find a place or if anything just find “her”



~Nowhere to Love~