The Bellisima Maria Bello

I'm going to say it flat out, Maria Bello is one of the most stunning and goregous MILFs on God's green Earth. She also happens to be a very talented actress. A sexy one at that, that has no problem baring her amazing body onscreen. With ads for her new TV series Prime Suspect coming out this Fall on NBC all over my TV (note, being it's her, I am NOT complaining but i do wish they didn't feature her beautiful face bruised up), I felt now is the perfect time to post a profile on this goddess.



Maria Elena Bello was born in Norristown, PA in April 18, 1967 of an Italian, American dad and a Polish. That, of course, makes her a very MILFy 44 years old (yum!!!). She would study political science, but ended up being an actress.



She was on various TV shows, including the lead in Mr. and Mrs. Smith and ER, but I didn't really know about her till she was in the awesome Payback, where she payed Mel Gibson's main love interest. Personally, I love that film and consider it to be a badass revenge film. I do need to see the director's cut, though. It should also be noted that Bello, who plays a call girl, is one of three stunning babes in it. The other two being Deborah (Crash) Kara Unger and Lucy Liu. This also marked the first time that I saw Ms. Liu, who looks delicious, herself, as a leather clad dom.



Now, I been recently told that I should see The Cooler, one of the movies she did post-Payback, by a friend. he said that's her best nude scene! Now that's saying a lot, as I'll discuss a little later. But, hey it deals with Las Vegas and has Bello naked? I'm all over that!



The next film that I saw that I enjoyed of hers (I've tried to watch Coyote Ugly but that film is SHIT!) is the action packed remake to John Carpenter's classic Assault on Precinct 13. While, Carpenter's film is better, obliviously, the remake is admit ably a good, violent time. Bello looks simply delicious in it. Seriously, if I was stuck in a precinct I would wanna be stuck with her!!



It's her next film is my favorite of hers: David Cronenberg's excellent and violent A History of Violence. The scene where she is dressed as a cheerleader (pictured to your left) is FUCKING delicious!! Seriously, you get two fetishes for the price of one!! MILF AND cheerleader!! Fucking amazing!! But, it actually gets hotter after that!! As, she gets fully nude in the film, as well. She has a great body and nice boobs. I also really, really like her bush. Ms. Bello also gets fucked on the stairs, doggie-style. In all, this amounts to one of my true, personal fav nude scenes in the history of movies. But, my friend says that the aforementioned The Cooler has better nudity from her! Better than this??!! Holy fucking shit!! I should also mention that this has my favorite performance from her, as well.



While, the two movies I just mentioned had stuff that would interest horror fans, she did her first straight up horror flick next, The Dark. Unfortunately, despite her excellent performance, the movie itself sucks. As, a big fan of hers, I was disappointed to see her first horror flick suck so much.



Another note worthy movie she did is Downloading Nancy. OK, actually I have never seen this movie. In fact, before today I had never even heard about it. But, it apparently has some AMAZING nudity and sex from her. She's fucking tied up!! My God, I simply LOVE this woman!!!

Sadly, the next movie I saw her in was the horribly mediocre The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. She don't get nude, and the movie is pretty forgettable. Still, taking over for Rachel Weisz' she gets to star with two other gorgeous women: former Hot Asian of Girl of the Month Isabella Leong and Jessey Meng. Honestly, I wish there was a three way lesbian scene between them. I know that wouldn't make sense in this movie but still!



I don't know whether or not I will be watching her new show. But, with her good looks, I just may have to! The lovely Ms. Bello is also a mom in real life, so that makes her a true MILF!



With her drop dead beautiful face, gorgeous body, hot boobs, nice ass, yummy snatch, and delicious legs Bello rules the world of MILFs as one of it's best. That she is a great actress that stars in three movies I genuinely like (with A History of Violence being one of my personal favorite movies) is only the icing on the cake. La bellisima (very beautiful in Italian) Bello is one of my favorite actresses and definitely owns my heart and fandom.

Hot Asian Girl of the Month: Dichen Lachman

August is the last full month of Summer. So what's one to do? I say enjoy i it. And, what a better way to enjoy it than with the ravishing Dichen Lachman, my pick for August 2011's Hot Asian Girl of the Month.

The lovely Lachman was born in Kathmandu, Nepal on Feb. 22, 1982. Her father is Australian and her mother was born in India but is of Tibetan descent.

She began her acting career in a long-running Australian soap opera by the name of Neighbours. I, of course, have never seen it, but then again I don't even watch American soaps, so you can bet this ain't my list to watch...

Her earliest movies gigs were Safety in Numbers and Aquamarine. Again, I never seen these either. And, again I doubt I will be.

She would go to become series regular Sierra on Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. Nope. I never saw this show either, but I know it has it's fan. Regardless, she stayed on both seasons.

Video tribute to her made by a fan:


So, you ask where do I know this major babe from? Well, I saw her in the second and third episodes of Starz excellent Torchwood: Day of Miracle, an off-shoot of the BBC series, Torchwood. She played a bitch of a government agent, but let's be honest here. That only made her HOTTER!!! Damn those sexy legs!!! Also, it should be noted that she can even make walking around with your neck snapped, and thus your head on backwards, hot!!!

But, it actually turns out I knew her even before then! See she played the widowed wife of a murder cop on the kick-ass TV series Hawaii Five-O. Come to think of it, I do remember her, and I thought she looked totally hot!!

Rumor has it she has a role in George Lucas' upcoming Star Wars series. When asked about it, she responded by saying that she would love do it, as she's a huge fan. I have said this a million times, hot Asian girl into geeky stuff = that much hotter!!!

And, this news makes me even happier (being as it's a TV show that actually currently exists and not some show that has been rumored for fucking ages): she has been hired to be be a series regular in SyFy's highly enjoyable Being Human (which is, coincidentally, also based on a British genre TV show).

She has a Twitter account, which, by the way, you should definitely be following: http://twitter.com/#!/dichenlachman

But, geeks are not the only ones to be in love with her. In 2009 the lesbian media site afterellen.com voted her the the hottest woman on the screen. Good fucking pick, I say!

Lachman has a pretty face and always seems to have a sexy look in her eyes. She's got killer legs, which are probably my favorite feature of hers. She also happens to be a solid actress, with some good geek credit in her past, present, and future projects. I, and all those taken by her beauty, definitely look forward to seeing more of her!

Random Hotness IX: Alone with Hotties

It feels like it has been a long time since I have put one of these, but now feels like the right time. It's hot outside and now it's gonna get even hotter wherever the hell it is that you're reading this!

Jennifer Lawrence- Last Saturday, I finally got around to seeing X-Men: First Class. Now, the movie itself was pretty damn good, with solid acting from the leads playing Professor X, Magento, and Sebastian Shaw. But, man did they ever rewrite X-Men mythos! Comic purists beware! If you can look over that you will like it, a lot actually. The movie had a couple of hotties, but I must say the best babe, to me anyways, had to be Ms. Lawrence. She plays a young Mystique (who apparently has been friends with Xavier since they were kids... wait, what?!). She is so freaking beautiful!! And, a good actress to boot!
She is a great Mystique and might even be, and this is saying a lot, more beautiful than Rebecca Romijn. She also looks hot with blue skin on. Is it weird that I would have sex with her with the Mystique make-up on?
Asa Akira- Easily one of my fav babes of all time, I am very excited about Asa Akira's upcoming porno flick, This Is Why I'm Hot. This movie ranks as one of my most anticipated porno flicks coming out this year. I've discussed it here before, but it bears mentioning again, cause now the hardcore trailer is up! The rest of the cast is smoldering, too (Chanel Preston, Gracie Glam, Kristina Rose).
From what Tom Byron, himself, has told me Asa's performance sounds amazing! But, then when isn't it? She is unarguably one of porn's hottest and best babes. Beyond that she is the embodiment of perfection. A true goddess, if you will.
I guess there isn't much I can add, that I have not said before, but it's Asa. Who the hell amongst you is complaining about me posting more stuff/ pics on her? No one? That's what I thought. :)Moon Bloodgood- I missed the first episode of Falling Skies cause I was in Vegas (yes, AGAIN!), but I caught the second episode. Now, a friend of mine had said it that the show sucked. But, I had to see it for myself. After, True Blood was over instead of flipping over to watch UFC (which I ultimately ended up doing); I made the mistake of watching this crap. The show was unoriginal and not interesting or entertaining at all.
Moon looks gorgeous, of course, but she does not make the show worth watching. I mean I tried, but I ultimately couldn't. It's great to see a beautiful Asian woman in a lead role on a major TV show (especially a babe that I am already a fan of), but it's just too bad the show sucks alien dick. Hey, at least looking for pics of her to post here made up for the annoyance of watching that shit!
By the way, she was on Attack of the Show (it seems the first episode owned in the ratings department, I'm sure that will not be the case for long) last week, and she admitted to liking sci-fi and horror movies. Beautiful Asian babe who loves the genre = future wife material for me!

Estella Warren, Has She Been Naughty?

Last night I was watching Chelsea Lately, and they mentioned that the lovely Estella Warren got arrested for a DUI. Apperantely this blonde babe is quite the naughty girl!

She allegedly was drunk and hit three cars. The owners of said cars said she was all crazy and whacked out. Ahh, hot, crazy chicks, we all know/ have known our fair share them haven't we? Anyway, supposedly after that she kicked a cop. And, when she got arrested she slipped out of her handcuffs. So, now we know she can do magic tricks, too! Sersiouly, I would rather have her come to some kid's party than a clown or some lame-ass magician! Hotter and more fun! She then, it is said, ran out of the police station! Ahh, drunken shenanigans! How wondrous and silly they can be!

Handler admitted she knew who she was, but couldn't be bothered to remember (or so she says). Just for Ms. Handler, I am here to freshen up her and your memories! You can thank me later.

This Canadian hottie is a former fashion model (one of the few I actual find attractive probably cause she has an actual body) and a former synchronized swimmer (crap! This babe is multi-talented!).

She's been in a bunch of movies and TV shows. Her most recognizable role was in Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. To be honest with you, she's one of the few good things about that piece of monkey shit. She is most definitely one of the few things worth keeping in your memory in relation to it. The most recent thing of hers I saw was Beauty and the Beast a Sy-Fy channel horror flick. Honestly, from what I saw of it (which was maybe 30 or 40 of the movie's last few minutes), it was a festering piece of excrement.

I will be the first to say that Ms. Warren is not the best actress, but she has an amazing God-given rack! She also comes as real sexy, things that cannot be said about that overrated waste of time known as Lindsey Lohan.

Whatever the case maybe, it seems as Miss. Warren has been a very bad girl. And, if that is the case, then I, the Master, need to give her a good spanking.

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The 70 Hottest Babes of 2010, pt. 1: 70-61

It's time once again for me to pick the 70 hottest babes of this year. As with the past two lists, I don't just add a bunch of lame, overrated chicks. My list has a good, healthy mix of mainstream actresses, reality show chicks, metal babes, pop singers, nude models, and porn stars. The ranking of the girl is determined not only but how hot she is, but how much she has done this year and how successful she was at it. And, so without any further waste of time, let the list commence!

70. Kristin Adams (last year 51)- Attack of the Show's/ X-Play's beautiful Mrs. Adams was pregnant this year, but still continued to shine as a perfect example of breathtaking beauty. She's probably my fav girl to do the feed on AOTS. Yesterday, she gave birth to a little girl! Congrats Kristin! This blog loves you! And, so do I, as does every red-blooded, straight, male geek out there!




69. Lucy Lawless (new)- Ms. Lawless returned to the boob-tubs this year, with one of the best new shows, the amazing, ass-kicking, gore drenched, and titty filled, Spartacus: Blood and Sand. She gave what might be her best performance, ever, as a truly evil bitch. But, she also got nude!! And, damn, does she have a great chest or what? Easily one of the year's most talked about skin flashings, and rightfully so.




68. Natalie Mendoza (new)- OK, so the fact that her character was still alive in the suprisingly enjoyable sequel The Descent 2 made little to no sense. But, she kicked so much ass, and looks so fucking good, that well, I couldn't complain. Actually, the fact that the sequel was as fun as it was was shocking in of itself. Natalie is a total babe, with a beautiful face and great ass. Here's to hoping this Asian hottie does more movies, in particular horror!!



67. Cheryl Chin (new)- OK, she really didn't have a whole lot to do except be Steven Seagal's arm candy in the totally badass, gorefest Machete, but she looked so delicious doing it! Seriously, if I was a bad guy, I totally want a hot Asian chick like this at my side. Scratch that. I want one regardless, of being a bad guy or not!


66. Evan Rachel Wood (last year 68)- I gotta say while True Blood was pretty uneven this year, the beautiful Ms. Wood, definitely gave wood to lots of it's viewer. She looked beautiful, of course, but was thankfully given more to do. I was much more pleased with her acting this season, than I was last. Plus, she got kept as a prisoner. Honestly, who amongst you readers out there, wouldn't mind keeping this babe as theirs?



65. Chelsea (new)- You know I find it increasingly harder to give a flying fuck about pro-wrestling, these days. And, while, I'll be the first to say that both TNA and WWE suck balls, I will give credit for the hotties. And, few are as hot or as sexy as TNA's Chelsea. I enjoyed her storyline, as she dealt with Desmond Wolfe being a total douchebag. But, then that was totally forgotten/ ignored/ whatever. Even, though she was getting babyface pops. Way to go TNA morons.



64. Katy Perry (last year 52)- You know I could really give a flying fuck about her tunes. But, I'll be damned if this babe ain't one of the hottest honies in the history of pop music. Those eyes! That hair! That face! And, of course, those boobs! I mean, she makes me thankful that there is a mute button, to help me enjoy her videos. That said, she does lose some points for the fact that she dates that douchebag Russel Brand.




63. Flower Tucci (last ranked in 2008- 17)- Ahh, Flower, it's great to have her back on this list. This bootiful babe was definitely a sweetie and cool as hell at Exxxotica NJ, this year. Plus, her ass will always be an amazing site to behold. This squirting queen certainly owns the hearts of many porn fans out there, and probably their woodies, too!


62. Kristen Bell (new)- I really wish the beautiful Ms. Bell would do more things, I am a fan of. But, I'll always love her for being in one of my all time fav shows, Veronica Mars. That said, she has been busy this year, with stuff like Get Him to the Greek, Burlesque, and Gossip Girl. She also gave her voice to Assassins Creed: Brotherhood. This ain't the first time she's done something like this, either. And, she's been shooting scenes for Wes Craven's Scream 4. So, she ain't forgetting about the geeks that love her. So, even if that film, blows, we can always, "Well, at least it had Kristen Bell in it!"


61. Julia Ling (new)- Man, it is so easy to crush on this beautiful Asian cutie. While, I never watched, and probably never will watch, Chuck, I did flip through it once or twice and found myself totally enthralled by this babe. I mean, shit they should give her, her own spy show! Now, that I would surely watch! Or, just have her be the main star of any show, for fuck's sake. If there was a show, where all she did was sit and look cute, I'd being watching it! I'd probably even buy the blu-ray box set!


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